Matches like this one are what is going to draw more and more Americans into the Premier League (and international soccer in general, all due respect, MLS). I became a West Ham fan a couple of years ago when a die-hard fan and expat married into the family. And yesterday was just so freaking spectacular and fun and…

I think my credentials as a guinea pig enthusiast are pretty well-established around here, and I for one am absolutely horrified by the senseless murder of such a beloved pet and/or snack.

UPDATE: The Irons said farewell to Upton Park in fitting style. As we say here in ‘Murica: suck it, Man U.

Joel Pryzbilla was never the same after seeing that girl get slashed in the face by that other girl.

Umm, the name of my new band, effective as soon as I get a band together just so I can name it “nover compet.”

To what?!??!?!?!!!??

NERD!

Oh come on; that’s a great song off of his first album that literally no one owned until Under the Table and Dreaming came out two albums later.

This is old news for many, but did you guys know that Pluto is not a planet anymore? The fuck is that shit? Who the hell demoted Pluto? My four year-old came home from school a year or so ago talking about the eight planets. Wise, patient, old dad that I am, I calmly explained that there are nine planets around the…

I know, I know. My bad.

Of course, the Heat are likely much more concerned with the legal and public relations ramifications of Bosh having a serious medical episode on the court than about his long-term health.

“because you read Deadspin and are statistically most likely to be an irritable dad with a law degree . . .”

“Sixpence? None!”

You’re not wrong, though Millsap had a really nice 2015-2016 campaign. In any event, don’t you agree that PG tops all three on the overall ranking? That was my only point.

Pretty small sample size, and ignores a good run in 2013-14, but you’re not wrong.

It’s also amazing to me as a Knicks fan that Carmelo . . . who was supposed to be our savior . . . doesn’t even get a whisper (and doesn’t deserve one) in the top 20-30 conversation. What a fucking nightmare.

Chill out, ace. It was a joke. But yes, all of those things are true.

Lowry, Boogie . . .

Tangential: the fact that Paul George is only a borderline top ten player says everything you need to know about the level of talent in the NBA right now.

damn