This comment is a class 3 felony in New Jersey and qualifies as both hate speech and slander. Please turn yourself in to the local authorities immediately. Either that or just go listen to “The River” (the song, not the whole album) and try to hear the lyrics with an open mind. If you never felt any of the feelings he…

“Shitty Browns release asshole” is certainly the “man bites dog” of the day.

The Ejaculate Confession

I also like

No wisecracks here: looking at that picture of a guy I idolized growing up makes me feel very sad and - all of a sudden - very old.

I am more concerned with the spectacular Draymond Green anagram possibilities. This should become a thing immediately.

1. Talk about burying the lead, Barry. The sentence or two about Kraft might literally be the single least interesting/fascinating/fucked up part of this letter.

I like that they are going to put it right next to that Shaq-sized refrigerator so that bronze Shaq can grab a snaq anytime he wants one.

You beat me to it.

“Perfect symmetry” is redundant. It’s like saying “insufferable ESPN personality.”

He had a sequence in the fourth quarter with a block, a steal and then an assist in pretty quick succession. With Carmelo sitting with an injury, there were several times last night when he would have legitimately been the Knicks best player at any of the five positions.

The entire “________ fans are the worst” thing is So. Fucking. Stupid.

Marchman got to him. He’s in the pocket of BIG SAC BUNT. It’s the only plausible explanation.

This is fucking tremendous, but Kinja will only allow me to give it one star.

Hell fucking Yespedes. #lgm

Blatt’s All, Folks

get off my lawn.

Oh come on, Marchman. Please do not be this guy. Putting aside the fact that all teams in the Korean league use a DH, this is going to be such a dumb thing for the next 12 months. Argue about the DH all you want — I say pitchers should hit in both leagues — but proclamations about not watching any more because of a…

Is Yoenis Cespedes destined to be the greatest Mets outfielder ever, cure cancer, or both?

He was and remains a national treasure (I assume).