500? Meh. Yoenis Cespedes has hit 633 homers tonight. #LGM

♫When your knee’s in my back, and it’s just cuz I’m black /

Meh. I call ‘em like I see ‘em.

I was being ironical, man. (0 for 2 in that department of late, it seems). If it was really “tl” and I really “dr,” then I would’t have known about all the bile. But look, I adore you and pretty much everything you write. So, consider my “tl;dr” days over, even in jest.

tl;dr, but why such bile over a couple of hipsters doing a hipster thing? Christ, have you ever been to Brooklyn?

The video is even better if you turn the sound down and pretend the ump just traded Votto to the Nats.

Matt Williams is being out-managed by Terry Collins this year.

Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Excellent. Kevin if the Mets hang on (jinx jinx jinx), then this ought to be refiled under LOLNATS immediately.

/ throws salt over shoulder

Dude, the Mets will screw it up in a few INNINGS. But it's still fun for now.

Not to be pedantic, but you’re wrong. The first run would’ve scored no matter what Cespedes did - Taylor hit a single with the bases loaded. The extra three were on him (sort of: it did take a weird bounce).

He just got hem all back with a bases loaded double as the Nats’ bullpen FUBAR-ed the hell out of their six-run lead. #letsgomets #yoenisbeingyoenis

How dare you take Burneko’s name in vain? For shame, impostor.

On the plus side, the fact that the burying of tapes is merely symbolic—and not a deliberate attempt to conceal incriminating evidence—is a sign of pretty solid progress for this program.

On hearing of Brady’s alignment with Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton immediately asked Eli Manning to be her running mate.

As a Mets fan, I cannot tell you how fulfilling it is to see another team go through the joy of one these stupid, self-inflicted non-stories that will be overwrought for the next 24-48 hours and then largely forgotten. Much of this season has had this Twilight Zone feel for the Amazins’. Cespedes good, Gomez bad? What…

No innings limit on this fucking guy. God I love him.

“Historically black college” my ass.