Kinja Grumps Stumped When Chump who Gave Kid Too Many Lumps Dumps his Rump Between two Humps

I know this is shameless self-promotion, but I wrote about the Wheeler injury on Tuesday. Long story short: maybe having lots of pitchers undergo TJ surgery isn't such a bad thing.

Apparently Guilherme was also recruited to play hockey, but the basketball coach refuses to give a Fuck.

Not a good sign for the Bears . . . . if God expected a good year out of Antrelle I assume he would have sent him to the Saints.

I've never understood the "buying is WAY MORE FINANCIALLY SOUND than leasing" argument. I've run the numbers and it just doesn't add up. Roughly speaking, a brand new MDX was going to cost me about $47k. And, after three years, it will be worth about $26k. So, after three years, I am out about $21k, but I have had…

Meh. If guys like Stephen A. didn't see racism everywhere, there would be no counterweight to the talking heads who refuse to see it anywhere.

Alcohol has been a factor in my social life for a long time - my friends and family are all big drinkers - so as someone who likes to drink but also needs to lose weight, this was really helpful. Thanks.

The Sports Cry

This is actually a bigger deal than people realize. There is some other guy who posts stupid, unfunny shit on Kinja all the time and he has the same name and picture as me, so people think I'm the unfunny dipshit. Not cool, other SideBar.

Quarterbacks getting rid of their beards? Damn, just more bad news for the women of Green Bay.

You guys can scoff all you want, and maybe it's a regular occurrence where you live, but, in Buffalo, people are going to notice a shady black guy hanging out behind a White Cassel.

It's early.

Ok

To show him how much they love him, the Vikings plan to beat Peterson with a switch.

Alex Rodriguez's return to baseball and to the Yankees is going to be one of 2015's most fascinating ongoing stories.

It's cute that these columns are progressing as Drew's kids get older. I am looking forward to "Why Your Children's AP Calculus Class Sucks," and "Why Your Kid's First Job Sucks," and, ultimately, "Why Your Grandkid's Favorite Television Show Sucks." Ha ha you are old and so am I .

My 8th grade English teacher just died of a broken heart.

I've always loved Shved-y balls.

damn, spoiler alert.

I did not even read this post all the way through because first I have to second the suggestion to read Lost City of Z. Amazing read. Percy Fawcett was a man. We are not men. Also, in the bibliography the author cites to 1491 by Charles Mann which is the single greatest, most mind-blowing book I have ever read in…