DeMar DeRozan has DeRaptors in DeTrash

I was given this advice before buying an engagement ring:

Oh Jesus, Tim, just Let it Go!

I am a little ashamed of how hard I am laughing at this.

I am sure you guys have covered this elsewhere, but how is Qatar planning to handle the influx of people who want to get shitfaced before, during and after the games?

I for one am shocked at the suggestion that the Deadspin staff does not await each of my Kinja contributions with bated breath, ponder my cutting sarcasm and occasional well-timed pun, and then chortle verily at my intellectual whimsy. #fartjoke

This is not going to get the attention it deserves because it is buried a few levels deep in a post about beer, but — slow clap — nice work. +1

I love Heady Topper. I mean I really love it. It is a great beer. But if I could get it at the Best Cellars down the street . . . or even pick it up in Manhattan somewhere once in a while . . . would it be as special? I want to say yes. I want to say that I am not such a simpleton that a basic convergence of…

Damn sorry to hear this; Mase was far and away my favorite on those mid-90s Knicks teams.

Broccoli is fucking disgusting. I take one bite and I literally (like, literally; as in, I am using the correct words to accurately describe what happens) start to gag. I am not a picky eater. I love food and I love to try new and exotic things. There is nothing I won't try at least once if it is properly prepared…

It won't happen, of course, but it's actually not as far-fetched as it might sound. It has been reported that Brian Williams lobbied for Jay Leno's job before it eventually went to Jimmy Fallon. Dude wants to be a late night comedian. Unfortunately, he isn't funny.

While we are on the subject of what Stewart should do next, isn't there a vacancy over at NBC News?

I can't stand Maureen Dowd but she got it exactly right in the Times this week when discussing the Brian Williams situation:

I am only a novice follower of the EPL, so perhaps I am not seeing the nuance here, but the Hammers had the ball deep in Man U territory with just a few minutes to go and opted for a quick strike on goal instead of a reset that would've burned at least a minute or two off the clock. Seems to me that it was that…

Dear Electron,

"I have to study all weekend!"

Taking a page out of the Syracuse playbook, and as an act of contrition for my impure thoughts and deeds in the past, I have decided that I will not allow myself to have sex with Kate Upton in 2015.

This is tangential to Will's post (at best), so I apologize. That said, if you are reading this, then you probably like good beer. If you like good beer, then you probably like any number of the offerings from Bell's Brewery. If you like any number of the offerings from Bell's Brewery, then you should consider…

That's nothing. My wife pooped out a football about five years ago, then another a few years after that, and it's going to end up costing me about a million bucks before all is said and done.

I actually feel badly for Jackson. He probably would not have even been there if it weren't for some plain old bad Luck.