That's not a pork tenderloin that looks like a dong. By god, it's a dong stripped of all skin and made to look like a pork tenderloin! Burneko you fucking madman!

This seems like a good a place to note that there is a HUGE billboard for the (re-)launch of Ballantine IPA on 495, about a mile or two into NJ after exiting the Lincoln Tunnel. It's a nice balance: at first you're like, fuck, I am back in New Jersey; but then you're like, oh, they have this cool new (old) IPA I…

Thanks. Maybe it's just that the laws of physics cease to exist on my stove like the fat guy on the witness stand in My Cousin Vinny. Yeah, come to think of it, it's almost definitely that.

One question: the last step is to "leave the lid off and walk away again." When I do, too much of the liquid is evaporating and I am left with a sticky, tough-but-not-impossible to stir consistency that is closer to meatloaf than chili. But, if I keep it covered for the last few hours, it still simmers and flavors…

I have returned to this recipe about four times a year since the column ran originally and I get a little closer to perfecting it every single time. Still toying with how much and when on the spices, but god I just love this recipe.

Within minutes, Bumgarner was suspended for four games by the NFL.

This has to stop.

"think about"

Not because the Patriots will or should think about benching Brady now—that'd be insane—

In the parents' defense, Adrian Peterson was the only babysitter available on such short notice.

Horrendous tweets from the bigoted ignoratti in 3 . . 2 . .1 . . .

How can the Twins organization be so blind?

Wrong, it's just a slightly different advanced stat. In fact, Jeter's 3.0 WAR this season reflects actual wars that have been avoided merely because he is such a class act. #re2pect.

I was screaming at the tv for Harbaugh to challenge this (Giants fan, needed the Eagles loss) and was so relieved when he did. For about 30 seconds. Then I watched the replay and went to pick up the Chinese food like my wife asked me to before bothering to hear the ref confirm the ruling on the field. Tremendous…

"What about the other 60%?"

+1 mayor of buttland.

Dunkin Donuts coffee out of the Keurig is fucking heaven. What is wrong with everyone? #sidebarrunsondunkin

You're probably right. But for this exact reason, it'd also be the last time the rule had to be enforced.

Pictured: a little girl gazes adoringly at a dopey but beloved relic of better days for a New York sports franchise.

Everyone is forgetting that the native tongue for many Canadians is French . . . he was just saying dark guy, not dark guy. Cripes.