Huh? How the hell can you get a traffic ticket in gridlocked NYC? It is unpossible!

I'd be happy to share the contents of my colon on you.

I can tell you how many people yesterday, like myself, had never heard of this woman.

She's broke, huh? Good thing McDonalds is always hiring.

This is horrible that Mick lost his girlfriend!

What a waste, she's very pretty. I would have dated her.

I thought Rosie o'Donnell was Goodyear's newest employee!

So you're not worried about buffaloes climbing trees? Because I certainly am.

Why not just print cookbooks on parchment paper instead? Nothing will ever stick!

One name: D.B. Cooper

What Chu gonna do?

I was hoping for an earlier story to post this spoiler last week. We got this week's J! promos last week, and Thursday and Friday didn't have Arthur in the 3-shots. If anyone wants future J! spoilers, I can provide them a week in advance.

Is this the guy who writes all those computer books?

in the 80s, 20 was the new 40

is this reverse teabagging?

I'm sure the victims were praying as they plunged. Lot of good it did them DURING the event. But you still want to pray? Then pray for a God who can get the job done next time, because this one can't seem to get shit done.

"quivering quim" is my person fav

Vagina sounds very clinical, that's why it is not used.

Meanwhile, Android still is sluggish on cutting edge phones.

Barry Petchesky translation: I hate Caucasians