Ironically, I won a bet on this decision.

“We like the way he gets to and hits the quarterback”

I know we all love to pretend professional athletes are only controlled by the unwritten rules and culture of their sports while in the locker room, but shouldn’t Enemkpali, you know, go to jail if he cold-cocked a guy hard enough to break his jaw?

This is my all-time favorite comment since I started reading Deadspin comments.

damn you.

I don’t want to sound like an advocate for raping your teammate to death, but in this case it would open up a spot in the infield.

Live look at his election victory speech

Fowler, of all people, should have recognized the “Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here” sign hanging above the Jaguars Practice Facility.

The difference is, at Busch Stadium, the beer flows like wine.

That’s kind of a low bar to jump over, isn’t it?

UPDATE - Roger Goodell just announced the following:

If those pictures ever come out, the dolphin will lose its eligibility for receiving an improper gift.

Sorry man, didn't jack your premise. Here's some black.

Wait, that one guy says he beat off #15?

Not sure which beating was worse: the one he laid on the MSU players or the one he laid on the English language.

So their response to a guy grabbing his crotch is to then reintroduce the likelihood of a kickoff return, something the NFL considers one of the most dangerous plays of the game because it leads to a high incidence of concussions and something they've pushed pretty hard to get rid of by moving the ball up to the 35?

Did your girlfriend happen to enjoy having her butt fumbled with?

Can't you just water the crops with a sports drink? I mean, those things have ELECTROLYTES!

Amusingly enough, in small rural farming communities that have been known to have good groundwater, Coke likes to move their plants there. What happens over the next few years is fascinating. Basically, the Coke bottling plant begins to use up a huge portion of the groundwater faster than it replenishes, leading to…