I'm banking on this being the movie that Lithgow finally gives everyone a much deserved full frontal shot. This just has to be it.

To be fair, who really could have seen a sale of the Islanders going badly?

All the while she kept her poise and her endearingly emotionless smile.

The U.S. Marshalls just robbed us of a Dog/Warmachine showdown. What a wasted opportunity. Go with Christ, brah.

You get to punch one celebrity in the face, who do you hit and where does the punch land?

Chicken Fries tops my list of Best Fruit.

"Alright, Chief. Right there is the spot, remember? Now raise your hands through the basket. That's it, raise the hands up!" Wait, wrong Indian

I'm pretty sure that's how you say hello in Detroit.

Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce, chilled and eaten straight from the can with an old Wendy's Frosty spoon. Enjoyed preferably in a dark room, while watching Ghost Adventures re-runs.

Classic rookie mistake here, Ricky. You never post the videos you take of yourself crying, you put them in your sad box and you pretend like it never happened.

You'll have to excuse my below average cognitive skills... I do a lot of business with companies in Minnesota, so I've seen both sides of that. It's almost hard to get mad sometimes if they fuck something up, because they will kind of roll over once and a while, but I've been a victim of that "motherly guilt trip"…

Hopefully not too many Clevelanders will be steamed by that statement

Yeah, I could have worded it better. I was saying that people in Minnesota are really passive aggressive, not in Chicago.

Just got back from MSP. Great place to live, friendly people, and a good sports culture. Being from Chicago, I got used to everyone moving fast and being a little more impersonal, so the laid back attitude takes you off guard. But the level of passive aggressiveness is almost too much. You can't tell if people are…

Maddux then proceeded to welcome the director to America by peeing on his leg.

Same rule applies to A's fans.

"I don't know guys, my mom says I'm not supposed to" -Triunfel

If only Uncle Nate would have looked at the watch, he would have seen his 15 minutes are up.

The story was pulled out of respect to Bob Castellini, who always considered her to be like a red headed stepchild to him.

You must be excited to start highschool in a few weeks!! Don't be scared, a whole new world awaits you!