If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son

Bert: "God this feels so good. Yeah baby. Yes! Yes! Yes! I love you so much. Oh Betty, god that's good."

I use a similar spreadsheet, except column A is formatted YYYY.

We can almost hear the echos from you high-fiving yourself when you typed those in.

If this guy wanted to get really anal, he'd probably be turned down for that too.

Sculptor: [Sets out to build Mount Rusmore of Specious Analogy]

It's nice to finally see the wife of a Raven drag their husband into something for once.

I guess she couldn't.....SAVE FACE.

I get the feeling a draft in Chicago would blow extra hard.

That's just one of next season's stertors.

Between Nash, Kobe and now, Carlos Boozer, the Lakers have to be considered the favorite for the 2006 NBA title.

It's only boring to someone who doesn't know anything about SEC football, Tom. Obviously, dummy, that "snoring" is the sound of an NCAA compliance officer at work.

At least we finally know that the drapes do, in fact, match the carpet.

I have to say I'm surprised to see Spain in the top 10, because why the fuck am I looking at goddamn soccer rankings.

At least Brazil's already gotten used to seeing themselves behind 6.

Reporter: Mr. Els, do you have any response to Tom Ley of Deadspin, who offered the following advice to you after your disastrous three-putt: "Next time, try to take things slowly and do less putts."

It seems appropriate now more than ever that the plural of "putts" is "putz".

There wasn't a dry eye in the house, except, you know, one of his.

His beautiful crossing pass across the box to a bunch of teammates who turned out to be about ten feet behind the ball kind of summed it all up

Cool, so we don't have to cry for them this time?