Oh, Natasha, we get it. You’re still closer to Teen than Exhausted Parent. But trust me this article will come back to haunt you in some way.

Here Lies Dobby, A Free Elf

I ff thru the scene when Hedwig is killed. I just can’t watch it. I’ll watch Dobby in Harry’s arm, saying how nice it is to be with friends, and the burial, when I need a good cry.

It was blink-and-you-miss-it in the movie, tho. If you didn’t already know that’s what was happening, you probably spent the rest of that movie and the next wondering who was caring for Hedwig while Harry went camping.

Well, that does it. I’m officially disappointed in Paris Hilton.

It’s a morally bankrupt ‘sport’. Encouraging men and women to intentionally hit each other get concussions and then act surprised at the brain damage and problems with self control and violence? Seriously, while not every boxer is going to suffer this it does increase the probability of problems.

My hope was that a hole would open up beneath the ring and swallow both of them, but it appears my wish remains ungranted.

Fuck Mayweather, Pacquio, fuck this fight, and fuck everyone who supported it.

Congratulations world. Y’all gave these two the GDP of the world’s 30 poorest countries COMBINED. I hope y’all are happy.

Why do baptists eat chicken so much?

Why do libertarians wear sweaters so much?

Not to mention a guy with a known history of domestic violence and a guy with a known history of owning upwards of a thousand birds for the purposes of cock fighting.

Yeah, that’s a feminist thing. Definitely not an all human beings thing.

Better just send that little girl right to the psych ward, right? I hope you’re not this alarmist with the children in your care.

When one of my sons was the same age, I caught him spinning the cat around in mid-air by the poor kitty’s tail.

1. Capitalize all your “I”s and clean up your grammar. The word is “premise”, not “premises” for Gotham. Poor grammar with this type of thing will turn off a lot of women. It looks like you just dashed it off without caring.
   

Like 30 Rock’s Gold Case. One of these briefcases is filled with ONE MILLION DOLLARS OF SOLID GOLD!!!

I’m confused: at what point do they release the lions?

If the guy can’t control his temper or subdue a drunk woman without smashing her face in he has no business in that job.