Inappropriate yet delightful!

I need R. Kelly's take on the situation before I pass any judgment.

For once the Patriots are finally honest about something and now everyone's panties are in a bunch, jeebus.

Who talks on the phone when you can not talk on the phone, you're liable to get hurt... oh, I see, the title is starting to make some sense.

nailed it!

Well, I wasn't exactly thinking of shoulder shrugs, but let's call it 3ish feet, at least enough to sneak in there and get what I need. Additionally, if you could agree to spare me your disdain at the smallish weights I'm going for, I won't side with Pott Scarker. Deal?

See, without the context, I figured it was the guy making balloon animals in the park who was doing the spanking, but I see your point.

Can we agree that perhaps when you are going to use free weights for a free weight exercise, you move a certain agreed upon distance from the rack of said free weights (6 feet?) before proceeding to commence the intended free weight exercise, instead of, for example, blocking, and restricting public access to, a…

"Nothing to see here, move along..."

You raise an interesting point, but the "why" isn't very hard to figure out. You think baseball wants to enter the concussion Thunderdome? If Harper is unable to square up a fastball, or the three that he's seeing after this incident, we'll likely see him on the sidelines with some other dubious injury like rib…

So they'll be broadcasting from the Holodeck, wonderful.

Can we talk about those awesome perma-fireworks, and are they done by Chihuly?

No, you have to be honest about your peccadilloes for people to love you. For celebrities, lying about the crime or vice is often worse than the crime or vice itself, in the view of the public eye.

Clearly an argument for more Angels in the outfield

Mmmm, ginger

Why is the Toronto Mayor in a mask and a prison suit?

Score another resounding win for the Mormons

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!

Letang (French for 'the tang', you're welcome) is a Norris Trophy finalist and he's friends with Sid, no way he gets a suspension.

Why not just wear pants?