I suppose he should've been expecting anything since his dad was a carnival worker.

Did Ovechkin have an internship at Vogue? I don't think so!

What superhero is going to drive that car?

@JonZeke: It even has eyebrows.

Anyone have any plane pieces from 9/11 that they would like to enter into an art contest?

Can't compare Jeter's move to soccer if he grabbed a part of his body that was near where the ball went.

"I guess artificial intelligence is not as intelligent as I thought it was. Yes?"

That's what you're supposed to do on a golf course.

@frrost: A cake can be used as a candle holder, as I learned from a Mitch Hedberg joke.

Trying to figure out what he's saying is a fun and challenging game.

Does it work better if I use a VeggieTales beach towel?

"I am not making you no pastrami, cottage cheese and banana bread sandwich." -Mitch Hedberg

"Release the hounds..."

Many questions and no answers? Sounds like Lost.

@DanteCalabriasInferno: Inessainz in the brain!

Those seats don't look like they could be used as floatation devices.

Maybe Apple will come out with an e-ink iPad. That would be a great idea.

Is it called Rule 8 because it screwed people out of 8 points in fantasy football?

I wonder how many times he had to drive through that intersection until someone finally ran the light and hit him.