Good thing we didn’t elect the candidate who engages in “pay-for-play”.

small businesses around america say they need help to survive in an increasingly hostile business environment, but let me ask my small business owner friends this: why haven’t you injected your employees with steroids and forced them to battle each other on top of ladders while wearing thongs?

I know right? He’s 4. He’s supposed to like tacky stuff because light up and dinosaurs are AWESOME when you’re 4. Also, he’s a little person with his own tastes and preferences, not Tom Ford’s accessory.

I think you mean that spray paint that he’s trying to pass off as hair.

If you can even imagine, Tom Ford is even more insufferable in person. He acts like he is burdened by the weight of his greatness.

Right? Poor kid. Let him enjoy his childhood. He’ll be ground under by the misery of adulthood too soon. Let him wear the damn dinosaur shoes.

That actually made my heart hurt. what kind of a concept is “tacky” to teach a four year old? he’s going to preschool not Royal Ascot.

Let the kid wear the dinosaur shoes outside FFS. You just said life is too short.

It’s almost like having unlimited money makes you think you know everything. No, Tom, people can’t be categorized into buckets in your simple world.

Rather, he is contemplating Ohio governor John Kasich.

My IKEA furniture would fit right in here.

I’m confident the house comes with a battalion of ghost governesses.

Well, I can take joy in the pain of people who are regretting their votes because Donald is not building a wall/prosecuting Clinton. I really don’t have a lot of sympathy for those ones.

I’m glad that the law has finally stopped looking the other way with this bullshit.

“If Trump sells out, it’s not our fault” ??? Yes it is, you assholes! That’s why we vote aT ALL! ARGH I CAN’T WITH THESE PEOPLE

My partner is convinced that all his claims of rigged elections during the campaign were a ruse to get Hillary Clinton to agree to accept the results, because he knew that the election was being rigged in his own favor somehow.

Hey you guys how about this idea for a fish-out-of-water movie about empowerment of women?? Please tell me what you think:

Filed to: Films I have no intention of ever seeing

So I was supposed to go to the Rifftrax Holiday broadcast today. But the theater I always go to was, with no explanation, not showing it. So I took the day off work and was denied even the tiniest scrap of comfort or joy, in a personal teeth kick from 2016.