You're a saint. If I worked 2 jobs and someone was this mean about my choice of beauty products, I would probably not be this kind or have your patience. Especially considering if I were to work 2 jobs, I would probably consider those beauty products the much needed pampering moments of my day.

On the day this was published I found a dead pigeon in the skirting boards of my kitchen that has been there for an eternity. I've only been living on my own for a month since the ex moved out, so I just wanted to drop all my shit and give up. Instead I posted a cry for help on facebook and thanfully I know some…

"Ladies," the narrator snaps at one point, "Has it ever occurred to you that fairy tales aren't easy on the feet?"

Indeed this!

The only reason I can think of proposing in front of Ryan Gosling is to check that your girlfriend is definitely committed to you. Because I'd definitively think twice before I would declare myself so officially 'off the market' in front of Ryan Gosling...

I have purple hair that is bright purple when I dye it and then fades to a beautiful lavender/lilac over time and none of the shades of purple stop me from wearing any colour. Red lipstick does indeed look awesome with this hair, although I am too paranoid to wear red lipstick in case of lipstick teeth/clowns mouth.

I love the Xander hyenas reference. Good work.

"It annoys me to be censored" feels like a super French thing to say.

Thanks for your replies everyone. This event happened in the Netherlands, so shooting the dog was never an option. And the only thing that would've happened is that the police would've been called and they would've destroyed the dog in some way (I tried to find information about the methods used in the netherlands at…

I think this is the thing that bothers me most. Although I guess they're all aware that there was nothing else he could do or at least felt he could do at the time. But I do feel it is odd to keep reiterating the story to confirm that what happened is totally OK. It's just uncomfortable.

I have to say I am not 100% sure it was rat poison. I know something was put in sausage meat and thrown over the fence, but no one is clear on the exact details of what it was. I kind of assume it was rat poison, because what other poisonous things could he have had lying around? But yeah, any kind of poisoning isn't…

My granddad poisoned a dog once. It's a story that totally doesn't fit with the image of my granddad (who died before I was born, so it's hard to piece together what kind of man he was), but he did.

Chuck Palahniuk is the M Night Shyamalan of books right?

I find the whole 'loving America' discourse so weird. Saying 'the president doesn't love me' is a super creepy thing to say. The president isn't Jesus, he doesn't have to love everyone. He just needs to do his job and try to do what he thinks best for everyone.

I know, I'm a hoot!

Keep in mind that Branson is English, and babies don't get circumcised over here (unless they're Jewish). The only common reason for circumcision is medical, usually for phimosis (tight foreskin).

I once applied for a job to stock shelves in a supermarket and the recruitment process required me to go to their shop 3 days in a row. First day we spent 8 hours listening to talks about what the business stood for, the 2nd day we had to do group exercises with our fellow candidates, knowing full well they were our…

I would consider it a huge step back and incredibly hypocritical if the Daily Show introduced a female host by only allowing her to host next to her husband.

As a European, I genuinely don't understand how this can happen. In fact I get a bit freaked out in automats because it feels too much like I'm riding a bumper cart. Does anyone know why it is standard in Europe to have manual transmission and automatic in the US?

This show has already been on TV here in the UK. And after much media hype about its broadcast, no one ended up actually watching it, because actually it's really dull to listen to people talk about the sex they just had.