Thelma and Louise is a great movie

I would skate through a brick wall for that coach.

Co-Anchor: Oh wow! Haha seems like Natalie’s having a hard time with that chip! Hahahaha. Hang in there Natalie!

The hospital scene in Jacob’s Ladder:

Shut the fuck up until you’re sober. Seriously.

Trevathan is gonna need a doctor to look at his shoulder and see if they can relocate it from the top of his head back to where it’s supposed to be.

I don’t watch SportsNet, don’t follow Hockey and have never been to Calgary, but just from this thread, I can surmise that Eric Francis is a piece of shit.

Dad: “Jeremy, tell your stepmom what I did today. Tell her!”

“And no, I don’t even like the Bucs.”

Tempting offers:

I used to think that Dustin’s schtick had to be an act and he was angling to get Skip Bayless’ job saying dumb things to rile people up. But ever since last November, I have more faith in people’s ability to hold opinions that are dumber than dirt.

“People should have stopped paying addendum to this guy when he started generically transmogrifying people’s crops.” - Emmitt Smith

cool witty atheists

claiming that universal health care equals socialism is really silly

I’m no theologian, but can’t God just fix whatever is wrong with the plane if (and only if) people pray hard enough?

God never gets the blame for the bad shit, only credit for the good shit.

hey i hate to blow holes in your “he’s not a pocket passer” theory but here’s the fine folks at FiveThirtyEight with some data for you:

Motherfucker, I’m a fan of a team who brought in a shockingly expensive free agent QB and then traded a good portion of their draft to trade up one spot to take another in the draft. Do you think I’d be happy with Colin Kaepernick on my team?

Who wouldn’t be happy to have a former Superbowl QB who threw 16 Tds against 4 interceptions, last season in limited playing time, with not very good offensive lineman and receivers playing with him?

Bud Light tastes like the piss of a scared rabbit that was filtered through some nickels being held by someone who never washes their hands.