I'm pretty sure ridicule is, in fact, a good treatment for affluenza. Knowing everyone hates your a$$hole-ish ways is the first step on the road to recovery.

Hopefully someday they can make enough of it to treat the whole water supply!

I find it cheaper and easier to visit the local coven of lesbian witches and get a potion that kills all Y chromosome laden sperm. Just slip into your man's drink and he will only make girl babies for the rest of his life!

Every 3,000 miles.

1 star = 1 prayer

I do it once a moth, for safety

Oh sure! Sometimes I go in to have my uterus scraped out on my lunch break just to be on the safe side! Gotta keep it fresh!

See, that feminist was doing it wrong. Personally, I'm excited to have my own personal white man that I can corrupt with all my social justice warrior evil. Baby sleeper agent!

Yeh, I went to Mexico for business a few years ago, and one of the guys from my office kept mixing up the exchange rate (embarrassing, since it was right at 10 pesos per dollar at the time — nice and easy to calculate). He accidentally ended up tipping extraordinarily well (like 100% well) for the two weeks we were…

Exactly. I LOVE Beyoncé and I thought her album was great, but if Kanye is going to talk shit about "artistry" then he should be telling Beck to give his award to the MANY producers and songwriters that worked on Bey's album.

I'm like 99% sure she does for most songs and half the ones she has writer's credits on she changed one word or something.

Dammit. Can I least keep my MVP trophy from slow-pitch summer ball? Or does Beyonce get that too? WHAT DO I GET, BEYONCE?!?

I don't even have ovaries and mine started humming.

Agreed. Fuck Iron Man, fuck the Hulk, fuck Black Widow—-Captain American can get it.

owwowowowowow

Orange cats are the best cats.

my cat always sits in judgment of anything you post, say, or do. She also judges, disapprovingly, all your pets and their actions.

#TeamLindy

How about... we have a commercial where the size 14 woman casually walks out to her neighborhood pool, followed by her size 2, size 8, and size 18 friends, all wearing various swimwear of their choice, in front of a group of dudes.