this is literally jesus punishing you for talkin shit about chris evans

Future pastor starring the shit outta this.

I soooo feel you. All of my current pop culture knowledge comes from Jezebel and Glee. My last relevant years were in the early 90's. Maybe we should start a Jezziatrics support group.

Seriously. Since apparently it needs mentioning: essentially all fetishy, kinky fun times that look so hot in the movies or erotica or porn are just creepy as shit if you haven't had a detailed discussion with your partner ahead of time. What is wrong with people?

Fellow married lady here. Yes to the "surprise sexy wake up" being a fabulous way to start the day. No to being used as a human sex doll when I'm not conscious and therefore can't enjoy it. This should not be a difficult concept for anyone, even a middle-aged Republican man, to wrap their brain around.

Exactly. Mr. Rex told me that it would be hot if I woke him up with sexing, so sometimes I initiate sexual contact with a sleeping person. It would be CREEPY AS FUCK if he hadn't told me in advance it was okay.

Well, sure. And in that circumstance, one might get unconscious AFTER giving consent, but not before.

Right with you. I guess it's time to give up trying to understand the young people and their dubstep and their snapchatting.

I hate to be That Person, but it's Gattaca with three a's. Which is important because the title is based on the letters for the four nucleobases of DNA (guanine, adenine, thymine, and cytosine).

for real, that cat is 100% ready to munch ducks forever

Agreed. That's a hunting kitteh.

This is one of my favorite comments of all time.

#BonerInspiration
This is awesome. You're awesome.

Once I actually flipped out on a cat-caller basically just being like "why the fuck do you think you are important enough to me that I would give one shit about anything that you think? What makes you think you are that important to a perfect stranger?" and he was all…

Mother says I'm never to speak to women like that.

Nice choice. I had dill pickles and Lucky Charms cereal for dinner last night. Was there too much sodium? Too much fake sugar? Probably some petro-chemical byproducts in my "marshmallow" pieces? Yes. Did I eat it all up and drink the milk at the bottom like a hungry calf? YES. And it was PERFECT. And then I took extra…

Your feelings are a million percent valid. I had a healthy pregnancy and I did get to a point where I was actually able to enjoy some of it but the first trimester and off and on for a lot of it I was miserable and feeling like I'd made an insane mistake and was going to hate my life forever. It did get easier as…

I ate lunch meat, sushi and a doughnut with caramel machiato (sp??) every damn day so that I could enjoy my pregnancy. I think docs and the web make it seem like your baby is so fucking vulnerable to your decisions and it's just not true. That whole list of things that you "can't eat" or do while pregnant is really a…

What Adultosaur said.

GIRL

I actually kind of like Hoarders. The show openly admits that the process is long. The show is really only there for the "big" stuff, which is the cleanup. A lot of hoarders actually do need to clean up fast - usually when the city or town comes after you and threatens to condemn your place unless you clean it up…