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So... the donut lady never actually bought any donuts no matter how much extra icing was offered? Am I reading that right? Because if she never even got the point where she could actually eat an over-frosted donut it just makes the story extra crazy.

Memorial Day:

So Doe Deere is gorgeous with that blue hair. I’m jelly.

This is satisfactory to us.

Yes. But we’re going to call you Glen Coco.

I mean... What money is left after you buy and maintain that house?

Step 1: BUY MEAN GIRLS MANSION

... Hasn’t actresses, models, and any other woman in the public spotlight lying about their ages always been A Thing? Why is Rebel Wilson’s any more shocking?

I’m glad I saw your comment before I scrolled down.

Gabourey Sidibe, girl, you shouldn’t answer random FaceTimes. (I don’t have an iPhone. That’s like Skype but more exclusive, yeah?) But if you have to answer random video calls, always answer them with a knife.

Meh.

I’m a fan.

Kumail Nanjiani confronts the real questions of our times.

“The 108 Most Talked About Bodies”?

Gross.

“Brad took one look at [an escort named Cameron Fox], gave him a thousand dollars, and asked him to leave.”

We had an 8th grade formal dance at the end of the year that was adamantly not called prom. I remember A Talk from the principal to the whole class about how this was a formal dance but was not prom and we should absolutely not buy “prom” style dresses or beg for limos, etc. It was weird in a way but totally normal…

SAME OMG

Note to self: check computer volume before clicking videos.