I did a couple of years in prison for drug stuff. You would think that walking out of the prison a free man was the most liberating feeling I have ever had. Incorrect. The most liberated I have ever felt is when, after 6 years of doing some combination of all of these things listed EVERY TIME I DROVE THE CAR, I…

how to get away with broken turn signals:

Why are all these folks hating on Depression Quest? It's honestly pretty amazing that it's the first (and only) Twine game on Steam, and it handled a sensitive topic WAY better than most media in general. It's also fun to see all the routes you can take.

As any astute observer of Law & Order or CSI can tell you that it's simply *amazing* the number of shootings carried out by separated at birth identical triplets or mexican cartel members that have been surgically altered to appear to be someone else the better to carry out their villainous gunplays.

And LA residents thought they were done with bad shots once Kobe shut it down.

Girlfriend does not appreciate my rendition of every Christmas song she's listening to into Christopher Walken's spoken word poetry.

The mirth and happiness that I have just murdered.

The big hair covers her soft fontanelle!

Pictured: Yet another Cam Newton turn over.

I remember the first time I figured out I could not only change my laser shot pattern, but also the orientation of my shields I was speechless for the next fifteen minutes. Then I found out you could change the Engines/Lasers/Shields levels, and wondered if I'd somehow peeked behind the curtain and seen the face of…

A good guy recognizes when he's made an error and apologizes for it.

Done.

This is likely to cause a whole new round of debate. But if there's anyone who's ready for a knockdown-drag out fight, it's Ray Rice.

No, please don't happen. You know what would be really cool? Warcraft IV. That's what would be really cool. I don't want more fucking WoW.

She didn't want to take everyone back to the minivan to do the diaper change.

Eh, place should have had a changing table.

No. Just no. I think breast feeding in public is fine, mothers with babies crying on airplanes deserve some sympathy because there really isn't a damn thing they can do, and that guy who posted a (totally made up) story about buying all the pies at BK to spite a kid is an asshole, but this?

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE A FUCKING DIAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF A RESTAURANT.