our boss Patrick thought this wouldn’t have been as funny before Ballaban’s review went up, but here’s a screenshot of this from after I finished it:

All 3 cars have been involved in accidents.

Plot twist: She’s deaf.

Who isn’t a fan of the VAG?

You, and all the people who are starring you, have no idea what they’re talking about.

Lol. A modified Cobalt SS does not make all other Cobalt SS’s legit.

It doesn’t even have the Camry Dent yet!

Again, being fast doesn’t make it a good car. It’s a shitbox with a nice engine.

That’s not a $10k car. That’s a $6k car with $20k worth of mods...

You probably also think the Neon SRT-4 is a great car.

That’s okay, the Cobalt doesn’t qualify as a great anything.

The LS3 is a 376.

While I agree in general we should avoid sexist remarks, if these fucking bitches aren’t the definition of bitch then I don’t know what is.

Your assumption that, as an amputee, his life is somehow less fulfilling than yours, is offensive. And indicative of your ablist mindset.

Maintebance issues? There won’t be any Maintebance. It’s an LS3 with a bomb-proof set of gears behind it in an E30. These cars are dead simple. The only issue I could think of is having to replace the ridiculous batteries in the dashboard, plus the requisite control arms every 2-3 years.

<$30k OTD, isn't a GM shitbox, and tows my S2000 with a trailer.

Surprisingly I went NP.. Only because of what it is, the fact E30's are increasing in value with time, and it’s LS powered with a nice swap. Maintenance on this thing will be a breeze considering the finicky German bits are replaced with cheap American parts. I bet you could drive this car for years and years and have…

Pretty sure that shitty actions and being terrible people, making an amputee’s life hell makes them bitches. Yep. Confirmed. Bitches.

Actually, these two women are bitches. 

those seats are way too rad!!