Does Jimmy Fallon actually ever do any comedy, or is his show just a late night infomercial?

there's also

Translated: "They're fixing what we bitched about. Fuck them!"

Look, this year Mario is dressed as a cat. A CAT. That's totally different from last time he was dressed as a raccoon or a bee. Also the pipes are transparent now. Revolutionary.

Story 1: "Some guy was touching me and I was paralyzed and couldn't do anything."

I believe that one day, Stephen Totilo will find the hair he so truly desires.

Do you really expect them to give a public interview saying "Fuck that, we didn't want this shitty project."?

Kotaku: "Did Retro choose to make the Donkey Kong Country game?"

SONY! All the bullshit of Microsoft, PLUS we lie to you about it! Because we care!

And the classic Nintendo tradition continues of characters who never stop screeching and jabbering non-stop throughout the game.

HOLY FUCK... GAME PUBLISHERS WANT MY MONEY?? MY MIND IS BLOWN!

"NES Baseball is one of the worst games in existence! We used to be ashamed to give it away for free. Yet you morons will happily pay $5.00 for it in 2013! And when we do, Nintendo-loving game journalists will carry water for us with pointlessly long articles on why it's a good idea! I love this business."

It's all good as long as there are tolerant individuals like yourself around to embrace diversity.

Also you can go communist! All the workers win! Just look at the incredible success stories like Cuba, Russia, North Korea, and East Germany to see that they are worker's paradises where everybody succeeds!

I gave my dog 15 doggie treats and he just ate them all up. Why didn't he slow down and savor them like he was supposed to?

The comment section here has a recommend button. It's really about time they added a dissuade button too.

Kid: "WOW! It's a whole bunch of classic arcade machines which, collectively, have less processing power than my iPhone!

Yes that's true. People who spend 10 years buying 23 identical Pokemon games are known for their brilliant insights.

Why would it be? For fuck's sake.

Ironically that comment is even more hipstery than the previous one.