Oh good. Old men, two of whom are credible sexual abusers, are now gonna decide what women can and can’t do with their bodies and lives. This is creepy AF.

So, if I get a bob, do I become rich? Or do I have to become rich to qualify for the bob?

and not just nicotine...

ROFL for realz. 

I’m still recovering from Liv Tyler’s 25-step skin care routine...

“I’m a dad”= therefore I can’t be expected to take any responsibility for anything beyond keeping the kids alive for the day. I also expect a parade and awards ceremony for my efforts. 

Jesus. Lara Spencer apologized right afterwards. She fucked up. Admitted it. Let’s move on. The whole world is crumbling around us and this story needs to have a second week of coverage? 

It’s all made in China.

I’m at the point where Gwyneth is a deterrent. 

Then I guess 5 pairs of glasses attached to you at all times is your best bet...maybe make it 6. just in case. 

Miley Cyrus makes me cringe with her faux edginess. It also makes me want to apologies for my twenties; I was probably just as insufferable. 

Have you ever seen that twilight zone episode with the man, glasses, and the apocalypse. Maybe it’s more of a prophecy than fiction. Based on the episode, get Lasik:

Suri looks like Arya Stark.

I learned about paying for parole in the U.S. from Orange is the New Black. I had no idea. That seems cruel and unusual. If you’re poor, you’re fucked. 

Biden looks as orange as the Dorito in Chief. 

I just decided I’d rather age and now I need a nap. 

Didn’t you see the credits? It said “No train sets were harmed as a result of this production”. 

But by worse you mean wayyyyy wayyyyy better. 

Don’t become a lawyer. It ruins all court scenes based only on procedure and rules of evidence.

Glad they’ll get the money, but a corporation giving a tiny amount on a one-off basis isn’t the point.