I'm not interested in being someone's fap material (there's nothing about me that would qualify as fetish-material anyway; I'm just average-looking). I'm interested in a mutual connection/life partner. Some of us just missed the boat and the numbers aren't in our favor.

It's just not true that there's someone out there for everyone though. I guess there could be but chances are they live on the other side of the globe.

You're right, it is a shitty thing to say. Refusing to make the first move is not a game or a scheme; it's a way to protect myself from getting burned the way I've gotten burned every time I take the initiative/make the first move. I do this because I have always been the more invested party, pulling the most weight.…

Ding ding ding. Any man worth doing/relationshipping/marrying is taken. The ratio of cool, attractive, emotionally healthy men to women is highly skewed in men's favor, especially after age 25 or so once people start marrying off.

Oh also, making the first move puts you in the "easy" category with many men. Not girlfriend material because he didn't have to work for it.

Preach. There is nothing to be gained, as a woman, from taking initiative with a man. Unless you like being in the driver's seat at all times and want a passenger rather than a partner in life. And some women do like to be The Boss who makes all the decisions. But not me.

This is what they do! And why I will never pursue a man again. If there is no man in the world who likes me enough to make a move then so be it; I'll be alone. Because the truth is, if a man likes a woman (and actually wants to date her as opposed to endlessly "hanging out [and fucking, of course]"), he WILL make a…

Making the first move as a woman is seldom worth it, because many guys will take you up on your offer even if they're not interested. They figure, "eh why not?," they'll get an easy lay for a little while until the woman starts to expect more effort (at which point, the guy fades or gets really defensive about being…

The spotlight needs to be shined on the demand side of porn for once. Enough with examining and analyzing the female performers to death. It's the men who masturbate to scenes of women being sexually abused, men who consider women to be disappointing versions of porn videos, who need picking apart.

Wow, good for you (though I’m sorry you’ve had a traumatic year). How did you find/establish that relationship? It sounds wonderful.

Isn’t that the worst when coworkers ask “got any plans this weekend?” on Friday and then “what did you do this weekend?” Monday morning? Sometimes I outright lie and say I went to a barbeque/party/even friggin brunch because the truth is too shameful.

Do you just buy the starter kit and go from there?

Can I ask what you use?

Congrats on bootstrapping yourself to happiness! You sound delusional about what the dating/sex market is like for most people.

Oh, I do have to admit there are some decent guys left buuuuuuut they are inevitably just tragic-looking. Not looking for gorgeous, never have, never been with a conventionally handsome dude, but there does have to be a basic amount of attraction (JUST as there is with men seeking women). The gorgeous guys know they…

Ugh he is perfection.

I’d have said the same thing before I found myself single at 31. In men’s minds, there absolutely IS a wall. Just browse some of their dating profiles to see all the 35 year olds seeking women aged 21-34. By mid-30s, the pool is almost dried up. The men who want partnerships with women got into them by that point and…

As I said to someone else, I don't go for "hot" guys. All the guys I've fallen for have been around my level, IMO, but they've become hot to me as we grew closer. It was the person I replied to who used the word hot and I was just continuing with that line of thought.

Yeah, sorry not sorry but in some cases it’s understandable that a person would have a freak out of some sort about their ex’s new relationship (privately, at the VERY least). Those circumstances would fuck with anyone’s head/self-worth.

Right on. I’m not even trying to date right now. But I spend a lot of time wondering what it is I did that made the guy I’m hung up on not want to be my boyfriend, including, was I not confident enough!? Did I not exude self-love in the correct, man-baiting way!? If someone thinks you’re attractive and sexy, funny and…