He’s an Ed Hardy / soul patch guy. Nuff said.

An egg yolk omelette sounds fucking amazing though. I need to partner up with one of the whites eaters.

If I somehow knew that Ann Coulter was the next guest in my hotel room, I would buy alarms and hide them everywhere.

None of her accusations struck me as too outrageous. Rosie should have hid her pot habit a little better.

Of course I’m reading this two days late. Thanks, Obama.

If you are being served (i.e., given) food, it is very rude.

If you add koala bears to the project, I would like to support your kickstarter.

Stressful. I’ve had both.

“Ambitious.” As an attack! It means two totally different things for men or women.

There’s definitely been an increase in public mass shootings.

He's just not hungry for a month at a time?

Find a size 6 woman who’s generous enough to fuck you?

How to contact the Republican members of the House Judiciary Committee:

In my imagination Darchonne forever!

5-8 Gawker staffers need to conduct this experiment. And not just for a few days. Like a month. Maybe reward the person who can go the longest with vacation days.

Right. I had this situation with a tuna sandwich like a month ago. But after that? Drinking wine? Or probiotics?

If you have taken a bite of something that tasted “off,” is there anything you can do?