Excuse me? I've never seen any smartphone more expensive than $300 with a new 2 year contract. Are you buying Monster phones?

It reminds me of my first phone, a Nokia 6126. Sounds a hell of a lot like yours with the added bonus of being able to use any mp3 file as a ringtone no matter the size. A shame the front screen wasn't built of very tough stuff and it ended up smashing when I dropped it.

Hands down my favorite dumbphone ever has been my current one, a Pantech Impact (P7000 for those of you who like model numbers). I'm a lifeguard, and I always worry about my phone going into the pool. Once was my own idiocy and the second was because of some little bastard child whose parents weren't watching him, but…

Please. This thing has gone into a pool. Twice. Came out unscathed. This thing is a goddamn tank.

HA. You should work where I work. Everybody in that development smokes.

I was thinking more along the lines of conventional munitions.

I doubt that very much. My friend works at a computer repair store, and he says that the crew there does much of the same stuff. Not as evil as Ronald McDonald over here but definitely some messed up stuff.

I believe this is relevant to your interests, good sir.

Like a four-star general? Who's the five-star?

By the way, this translates to about 660,000 gallons of water. Your average backyard pool is about 25,000 gallons, and the biggest pool I've ever worked at (12 ft deep and 25 meters long with 6 lanes) was 172,000 gallons. Make no mistake, this is a truly massive pool. But is it a machine? I'd like to see their…

We have a winner! That's exactly what the I'm feeling lucky button does.

Going into one.

Not to defend corn sugar (I prefer cane) but that's not what is making America fat. It's not GMO either. It's flat-out laziness and a general idea of "money can fix anything wrong with my body", whether it be plastic surgery or diabetes treatment. And yeah, a lot of it is screentime. Americans watch more TV and spend…

Don't you have a tinfoil hat to be wearing?

Very true. At least condoms are free out there.

In the picture the guy is actually on the inside of the room.

Oh please please please get this through the FDA fast. I want to enjoy my college years without worrying about unwanted pregnancies.

Feelsbadman.

Don't be jealous my friend. I respect your generation for having to try waaaaay harder than I ever did.

Oh back when I was 16... I used to do it all the time. And I mean all the time.