I'm having pizza*. Fuck the haters.

(Maybe a tamale buffet, idk, it's really hard to decide)

Food is one aspect of weddings that blows my fucking mind in its idiocy. Everyone complains about wedding food (Ugh, chicken breast again?) but then you try to do something different and it's like, "NO YOU CANNOT DO THAT. I DEMAND A CHICKEN BREAST AND BLAND VEGETABLES."

Wait, people actually critique your plans for an imaginary wedding? Too far, TOO FAR BY FAR!

I went to a wedding last summer that couldn't have cost more than 5K. It was fairly small, about 30ish people, and was more like a party than a wedding, but it was more fun than an other wedding I've been to.

Uh, I will include it because my time and labor has an opportunity cost that should be respected. Do you know how long and hard I had to squeeze that charcoal briquette before I had a decent rock?

Hang on a minute. I was under the impression that Zedd was dead.

Interesting that Senator Cornyn should be such a stickler for procedurals and rules: He's one of the 47 signatories on that note informing Iran that any deal the executive branch might achieve regarding nuclear negotiations can be undone by the next administration. I.e. he's perfectly happy to break with protocol and…

And then force them to carry and give birth to their dirty pointy stick splinter children, because that's what my religion tells me they should do.

"Well, sorry you got human trafficked and raped and got pregnant as a result, but congratulations! Here's some money for baby stuff!"

Every single time I read something like this I immediately get myself pregnant just so I can have an abortion.

He's not asking for a cookie, he's noting that it's ridiculous how allies are attacked for not maintaining some completely fictional and unobtainable ideal of the "perfect ally"

What is this "free pass" bullshit? Free pass from what? And nobody's saying that Aziz Ansari has magically cured gender issues. He's just making an effort that could have a positive impact, and only an idiot would act like that's a bad thing. You're just arguing for argument's sake against someone who's trying to help.

Is that etched onto a stone tablet at the top of a mountain somewhere? Did someone make that law and I missed it? Anyone who believes in gender equality is a feminist in my book, and no one owns the term. And by the way, if it is suddenly "trendy", you do realize that's a good thing, right? I mean, I understand…

It's a sign of his maturity, five years ago there would've been hell toupee

Seems to me if you wanted to avoid spoilers, you shoulda stayed off a SPORTS website. Contributory negligence, brah.

Christ, you cannot spoiler a sports match. FULL STOP.

Fitting that Rooney is getting in there and trying to plug up this hairy situation.

don't worry, there were 62,000 of us there watching. 13,000 season tix sold. we'll do fine without ya. thanks.

You are so fucking annoying about MLS.

Exactly. We're supposedly a civilized society and we shouldn't be murdering prisoners.