A slightly more accurate map:

"What a fucking showboat."

Regressing has been my favorite part of Deadspin lately. Excellently written and cited articles that teach the readers things about sports that simple game film cannot. Keep up the good work, guys.

I'm not saying I want anyone to get hurt but America's Cup would be significantly improved if they added naval mines into the mix.

LOL at "regular ants." This happened in Corpus Christi, where fire = regular. As a Texan, I can tell you I'd never even heard of black ants until I moved to New York.

Noting that the paint was red, pink, blue, and orange, police have four suspects.

Astroglide. Duh.

The only thing that could have made this gag even funnier was if Manning went into Reed's locker and stole his jersey and took it back to his apartment and let people wear it and take pictures and then return it the next day and then steal it again and let people wear it again and then leave the state and return the…

Diabetes Types, Ranked

These Aaron Hernandez jail letters are getting weird.

Looks like somebody took the straight outta Compton.

I was wondering where Steve from Blue's Clues had been hiding out.

Doug Mirabelli's Day
9:00 Shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed.
9:01 Lets out a blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands, farts 5 more times.
9:03 Drinks three raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge.
9:05 Takes out leftovers from the Kowloon Pupu Platter for three he picked up last night.
9:15…

"I certainly left it all on the field and frankly, I wouldn’t change a thing." - Blue II

[inspects notebook]

You just know Cooper wants to get McClane and McCoy into a room together and beat the shit out of those micks.

Shockingly little amount of Whataburger love! Blasphemy!

Fortunately, Ohio State has already recruited mild-mannered med student Carlos Jekyll as their new starting RB.

hoisted by his own bedard