Maybe it's the glass of wine I've just imbibed, but this one had me laughing uncontrollably and forcing my husband to listen to me ramble about "sleeping in a pile of dirty pool-noodles." My favorite part:

You should suggest that to Rob Thomas because that would be fantastic and also right up his alley.

Okay, it doesn't SOUND good...but I have to admit, everything by Rob Thomas is always better than it sounds.

I hope not too, because I was a weirdly shaped size 12 back then and properly-fitting gym shorts were hard to find. I sort of always hoped it was someone who desperately needed them or they'd fail P.E. If it was someone who'd waste those perfect shorts on some unusual fetish I'd be even more furious.

I know that is true because someone once stole my worn, smelly gym shorts right out of my locker. Not kidding.

I'm just going to guess that those Japanese words with the arrow pointing at his cheek/shoulder (they appear to have morphed into one) say "HOLY SHIT GUYS."

The answer is no. None of us can afford HBO. We watch GoT when the guys we're dating somehow (probably illegally, but we don't ask) get hold of it and let us watch it with them.

While the double standard is CERTAINLY still there with dongs vs pussies...dongs and boobies aren't exactly on the same level as one another. Boobs aren't sexual organs. So I would just revise this to say for every time you show a vagina, show a penis. Every time you show boobs, show abs or some really good biceps…

You know...that's a pretty damn catchy song. Just sayin'.

Very true. I always get measured at Nordstrom, because I'm a 30D and since VS doesn't have that size, they always tell me I'm a 32 or 34 even though I'm literally 29 inches around.

You know what...there's a whole plethora of questions that come to mind, including "is Hooters standing up for the respect of women a little contradictory?" and "is this just to make them look better?" But...I've decided not to over-analyze this one. They're sticking up for something worth sticking up for. I say…

Objectively, I believe they should be allowed to name their child Messiah, and the judge was out of place in this order. Subjectively, I think they SHOULD name their child Messiah because that is an adorable name, and in translation means "savior" and that's awesome. I sincerely hope this child grows up to rescue…

I witnessed this myself, when I was in high school. I knew an attractive girl with big boobs, like size DD at least, who was wearing a top on a warm day that COMPLETELY covered her boobs but didn't have straps, and I watched a security guard scold her and send her home to change. We were juniors in high school, and…

"...and we'll all get to marry David Tennant, the end."

I've always had the same problem. The pants that fit my waist and height won't go over my hips. I gave up after a while and just started wearing skirts and dresses too. Saved me a lot of headaches and fitting-room tears.

I was thinking that too...how can someone stand on a college campus in April with a sign that says YOU DESERVE RAPE ...and NOT get punched? Clearly those people have more self-restraint that I do. I feel certain that I would lose it all over that guy. If I could keep it to yelling and away from physical violence,…

First of all, Carey Mulligan is perfect for Daisy Buchanan anyway. Kissing Leo DiCaprio is just the cherry on top.

Well holy damn.

I too have the Paraguard. I LOVE it. Every time I post a Facebook status about bagel bites or macaroni and cheese and my friends accuse me of being pregnant, I get to laugh and be all "NOPE!"

I also can't believe no one has said Sting or the Goo Goo Dolls yet. Fields of Gold and Slide are like the BEST morning sex songs ever. And the Moody Blues have the best for slow, afternoon sex.