meanwhile, a black woman gets 30 years for firing a warning shot.

Of the 100+ things that make me angry about this story... He claims this "ruined his life", but at least he has a life. She's DEAD. She has nothing. His actions caused (or largely contributed to) not only her death, but also the destruction of a family, because they will never get her back.

Listen, I know this is going to be unpopular but...

Dude. If people are gonna get all judgey about it, rape hardly seems worth the hassle.

Saying that someone had a clean record before this crime is a really good argument for mitigation when someone gets caught with a joint, or walks out of a store without paying for one of the items in his shopping bag. This 49 year old only had a traffic violation on his record, so why ruin his life for the simple…

Angry Panda is here to help you with that:

I'm trying to pinpoint my exact emotions over this story. Let me see, let me see... hmmmm... oh I know...

Boy.

It's really a shame how disastrous these rapes can be for the rapists. Rambold, the Steubenville guys, the Michigan football player — it practically ruins their lives.

Maybe it would be better if they didn't, you know, rape people.

WHAT THE FUCK.

How, pray tell, are $1000 designer shoes "worth the price tag"? I do understand the value of good shoes and firmly believe that my $200 shoes are worth the price tag. But what does 5xing that do for a person's comfort or style?

It would be fun to a do a Freudian analysis of MILF creampies in the upper Midwest.

"Oh great, cause all I had come up with was "Penis Over Vagina" and I was like "They are no longer putting it IN the vagina anymore? WTF?""

I really doubt it's racists turned on by forbidden fruit and more just comparably large black populations.

OH NO. DO. NOT. Google.

John Stewart said this about Fox News back in '05 and I will never not quote it:
"Fox News is basically just a camcorder set up with some guy narrating"

Agreed. If you don't laugh, you'll cry. May as well laugh.

I always thought the lyrics were "do it like a lady." Because ladies are better at doing things.