You forgot plaid.

Twilight Zone! I was trying to decide what to watch and that sounds perfect.

You don't have to work for Hobby Lobby, sluts!

People keep confusing big decisions (ones with vastly different consequences) with hard decisions.

Right! How do we know she was commando? Did someone check?

I don't get it. If you assumed she was wearing a bra anyway, why do you care?

Maybe they're titillating for other people like him- who get off on discomfort.

I am all about gay sex. I engage in it fairly regularly and I think about it quite a bit, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS THESE PEOPLE. Seriously, where do they find the time?

That is some next-level evil. Holy shit.

An acquaintance on nutmeg: "You know how nutmeg kind of smells like a tree? Well, it makes you a tree." He just sat in the corner and drank water for most of the weekend.

perfect reference.

Oh, your degree is in mathematics, with a focus on modelling and disease spread? How would you like to sell insurance/computers/real estate? We feel that your programming background and extensive applied math experience will make you a great fit.

"Oh Christ, not again. Can't you just talk to her? It's not like this is helping me get any action."

I knew a "Drinkwine."

I really liked that book until I read the interview with the author in the back of my copy. That kind of killed it.

And I can be even more worldly later when I switch to vodka.

This case of beer is the cornerstone of achieving my whimsical moments of enlightenment.

I cut out the middleman.

You don't understand- this isn't just ice cream, this is "very important dessert."

Not if he'd enjoy it. Otherwise, I'm there.