"depressed kelp" is EXACTLY what my hair was when it was long. Pixie cuts forever!

Oh no, I'm so sorry. As someone who has lost a few friends, it can be so hard. I wish I could give you advice, but I can't.

See, I mistakenly thought they were the target audience of 'Magic Mike.' I mean, I should have known Hollywood wouldn't have done that, but the only male strippers I've known (3- not a large sample size by any means) have worked in gay clubs.

A-fucking-men.

I'm working on it, but it's a pretty slow process. Reminding myself how stupid it is for two people to be stuck waiting for each other is my main motivation at the moment.

Thanks! I sort of knew that this was the best course of action; sometimes I just need to hear it from someone else so I can get my ass in gear. I really do appreciate it!

I'm sorry that happened. I love running, and I get really excited when I hear about other people doing it too! I hope your first race is a good experience for you.

You'll be fine! Better than that, you may even enjoy yourself!

Okay, relationship question. Went on a date with a guy back in November. We went on two more dates since then, which is slow, I know, but we're both really busy. We've texted back and forth a bit over the past two weeks, but haven't met up. I asked him out on the last one, so I kind of feel like it's his move now. …

You did the right thing.

I love oysters... in both the euphemistic and literal senses

It's even better, actually— it's 100% more! (increasing by 50% would mean there are half as many men as there are women, and now I have to apologize for being a nitpicky math major, sorry) Go out there and get some!

You can't resell diamonds anyway. Here's a pretty interesting article on how the industry was created, and why diamonds aren't an investment at all: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/print/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

Earlier this semester, a student announced that she had "literally bombed her test." She could use that virus.

One of the photographers of the Jonestown Massacre avoided taking photographs of the dead dogs because he didn't want the public to focus on the dogs rather than the people. I mentioned this to my roommate at the time, and her response was, "I'd be so much more upset about the dogs! They're so adorable!"

I'm clearly missing this reference and its relevance.

That one really pisses me off, because it happens every damn time Jezebel covers trans* issues.

...Unless it was accidental. The birth control failed, rape, etc. Even if I decide to conceive, I have a right (morally and legally), to withdraw that permission.

True, it's not just a health decision. It's also a financial one.