First thoughts when I read the headline of the story.

Plus it was a Gumpert. WhoTF would admit to owning a “Gumpert”?

Hello!...Is it me you’re looking for?

So if the drivetrain moves to the rear does the Camry’s dent move to the front?

$59,995.99!

My opinion is dirt simple and dirt cheap. Wiper blade arms are cheap and easily replaced. Ones on the rear are torn off cars all the time. The paint on these things is merely a suggestion to keep the cost down.

I’d totally watch a show where you solved auto-related mysteries. Call it Encyclopedia Brown Manual Wagon.

That's weird, Santa Fe is super dry.

Their parking space has a time distortion bubble in it.

I say this genuinely, not as a hipster — how long have you read Deadspin?

Fuck, yeah. They’d find me on the flight deck, sitting in the captain’s seat making prop plane noises and surrounded by empty mini bottles. My first words to the rescuers [maintenance folks] would either be “I’ll never get over Macho Grande.” or “Surely, you can’t be serious.”

R32 is AWD bruh

Fact: Anything you say on the internet that you preface with “Fact:” becomes true no matter what you say.

I’m starting an app-based roller blade micro mobility share startup.

The dog is gonna love this.

Us fail Simpsons? That’s unpossible.

Keeping up with the Simpsons riff:

Chris and Snoop getting their nailgun ready.

Whenever I hear somebody use female as a noun while referring to humans, it is an immediate sign to me that whatever is coming out of their mouth will be deeply rooted in misogyny. I have yet to be wrong.

@aasukisuki: I think you mean the Spruce Moose.