Please, please, please let 2010 Era Gaga show up. That would please me greatly.

A self-described “gentleman,” he buttered up his lady friend — whom he described as “passionate about law” — by whisking her to the top of the Empire State building.

More than the apartments, I’m more annoyed by the “quirky female character who eats a lot of greasy, fatty food but maintains perfect skin and stays slim” trope. She’s not shallow like those salad eating bitches, she just LOOKS like them.

Anybody else finding themselves sighing frequently, not enjoying things, like ice cream, as much, constantly feeling on the verge of unexpected violent tears? Anyone else get queasy when they turn on the news, cynical when they open their Facebook and wary when strangers start talking in a doctor’s waiting room that…

“The next time I see you, you could be the president of the United States,” Fallon noted, a smooth, untroubled expression on his face.

Yes, because women celebrities NEVER have other’s sexual fantasies projected onto them, or have to put up with tasteless “jokes” at their expense. That said, I’m all for good manners all around.

Was about to comment the same thing. Having lived in France, been married in France and worked in French companies for even longer, I can tell you most of French humor is about “taking the piss out of” people. Sorry to use a British-ism, but it just doesn’t translate to American. It’s the teasing you give your best…

I don’t really see how he can get offended after saying “I heard you get sodomized quite often”. I mean, her initial comment about the demon was off-color, but no more off-color than the fact he chose to be in a scene that played a rape as comedy in the first place. And her response was, if anything, a de-escalation…

you’d bring your friends Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt. And then you would leave.”

Confession:

Mannnn, listen, Usher is perfection. I’ve been to x number of Beyonce concerts and all of them are undoubtedly in my top 5. Yet and still, even though I consider her the greatest entertainer of our generation in terms of her consistency, I still can’t put any of her concerts above the one concert I’ve seen of…

RiRi gif is hypnotizing.

I love that Ben Affleck’s oldest daughter looks like a nerdier version of Jennifer Garner.

Next up: a divorce! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, two beautiful B-listers who have successfully conned the world into thinking they’re A-listers (I like them both, but they are not reliable leading actors. Don’t @ me.)

Guy Fieri plays Find the Beef Jerky

Hold the phone, source. I do not think Brad Pitt was, like, on his hands and knees replacing tile and screwing new fixtures into old cabinets and screaming like, “GOD DAMN IT, ANGIE, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE GOD DAMNED CHISEL” after which Angie screams back, “HOW MANY GOD DAMNED TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I NEVER…

Really? She’s worse than Dukakis? She’s worse than Kerry? She’s worse than her husband (who won twice)? No, she’s not. Never was and never will be. And, yeah, she’s better than Trump.

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

omg I needed a warning for Steven Tyler’s right foot.

Last year I had pieces of cloth and clothespins in my kindergarten classroom that the kids would make outfits out of. One day at sharing time two little boys proudly stood in front of the class to show off the dresses they had made.