Vitamins and diet? I'm going with no.

C’mon, Stassa. You know you loved the original NYP headline.

Yay! I haven’t been able to really participate in a SNS in awhile.

I get Amy Poehler. I get Tina Fey. I get Mindy Kaling. I do not get Rashida Jones. Can someone explain Rashida Jones to me? Celeste and Jesse Forever made me want to hang myself, and she was absolutely the most expendable part of Parks and Rec.

that’s basically what I think of him as.

“more than one hundred pages of alibi documents”

Have you seen the trailer for Keanu?

amen

This is basically a Dr. Seuss book...

After the cat that looks like Adam Driver, I honestly feel like this creature feature thing isn’t even trying.

Never be entirely dependent on any one person or situation, ever.

I adore you, Jennifer, and I support your goals, but I’m pretty sure Helen Mirren is going to do the bikini thing before you.

Yes, Zac. Go to your room. I’ll be waiting.

So pretty. So dumb.

The only thing I adore about the sentient pestilent festering Cheez-it barnacle that is Donald Trump is his speech style, where he’s clearly just letting his mouth run first before his brain can catch up. I mean, breaking down this response, his ongoing thought processes are just so obviously on the surface:

Melancholia. I admit to always being on Team Kiki Drunkst, but she was outstanding in Melancholia in a way I didn’t know she could be. And I agree, exceptional again in Fargo!

You don’t like Kristen Dunst? I thought we were buddies, Cherry! (I get it, it’s a matter of taste. I can never be mad at you.)

Eh, the Gaga and Perry beef doesn’t bother me. People go on random twitter rants all the time.

Sean Penn’s recent attempt at journalism ...