The word "Burglar" is very un-sexy.

Catholics. So damn dramatic.

The men wearing formal wear that would fit in at the Emmys should not be praised.

This is a clip from Shimmy Club's official promotional video, that shows the two-way mirrors in action.

Alternate Headline: Katie J. M. Baker Probably Wrote This Article Because She Has A Secret Crush On Fat Christie.

They are trained to not show emotion or incite panic.

I miss the yellow Disaster Watch logo.

Why don't more people just squat-and-hover above the seat to do their business?

Previously, EA posts would be filled with the majority calling for boycotts and hate.

As a non-American who has no affiliation to either of these parties, the apologists here are shocking!

What the fucking fuck is the point of all this mean spirited snark? God I hate you, Doug, you worthless piece of crap.

Loving the death glare she's shooting at this child!

It's embarrassing that adults here on Jezebel actually believe that Simon-Demi tabloid fodder.

Wow, I never realized Sea World was the one that rescues these.

Serving that low-budget Microsoft Word clip-art realness.

Holy shit.

I swear this is a news story every single year.

I love how creative the Chinese fakers are.

Embarrassing that people are actually sexually attracted to figurines.

Quit the internet if you don't want spoilers.