This is why whenever I need to get some food, I just go to the supermarket and hang out by the checkout. I get to be in close proximity to people who have food, which is the same as having it, yourself.

The touch screen displays already got a raise. We can’t pay you more, too, humans. Sorry.

Heyo!

“Such person purposely exposes his or her *anus*”

With the way these Republican misogynists *talk out of their ass* they’re setting themselves up for a lot of citations.

I maek bill say nippel bad OK relect me

No, it’s just because for every 100% a man’s poll gets, a woman’s poll only earns 76%.

Consider yourself spared.

This seemed like a good enough excuse to post this. (Must get own dog to put in footie pajamas.)

After doing an extensive Googleimage search the closest I could find is dogs in overalls.

Trick question. The answer’s 42.

She's so consistently funny on SNL-when a sketch isn't working, she can come on for 15 seconds, get a huge laugh, and save it. I don't think they use her enough.

Apparently you have never been to Kentucky.

Oh gosh yeah Kirby Delauter, how did we forget about Kirby Delauter just Kirby Delautering around town with his Kirby face and his Delauter demeanor

I’d like to throw an honorable mention at Frederick, MD City Councilman Kirby Delauter, who threatened to sue the local newspaper for using his name in the newspaper “without his authorization” when reporting on a city council meeting. Naturally, the paper wrote an editorial chock full of his name.

Exactly. ‘Wages are so low because of government intervention, and if government would deregulate everything, businesses would give everyone raises.’

Well maybe if Obama stopped oppressing them with his skin pigment they’d meet him in the middle and negotiate.

This isn’t a Donald Trump thing: this is an overall new GOP strategy that actually acknowledges problems like the wealth gap exist. The difference is that instead of attributing it to the actual causes, they’ll claim it’s because of Comrade Obamavich’s dystopian socialist policies.

A sensible soloution, but one anchored to an assumption that 1) a child’s parent has a credit card (or even credit).

“But the main takeaway for researchers, and us, is simple: Why marry the cow when living with it will do just as well?”

I was 10, which means my older sister was 13. I saw her and mom in the bathroom together a lot. And I was all WTF is this about? And more importantly, what am I missing out on?