SUSPECT__IS__HATLESS
SUSPECT__IS__HATLESS
SUSPECT__IS__HATLESS

"Is criticizing people for no reason and exaggerating statements in a "funny" way..."

Oh, you're just posting this everywhere. I'm onto you. You're smart. Perhaps smarter than all of us...

But "boho" is so 10 years ago.

At the hat?

On Brenda Fricker?

You're missing the ugliness of the hat. You have overlooked the hideousness of the hat. You have also failed to comprehend the lameness of the hat.

Thank you. I'm really grateful for your congratulations, because I am personally very pleased with myself. It took 24 hours and some very serious Googling.

I worked it out! It's Rachel Smith. She's some TV host and she was miss USA or something. A nobody, but a pretty dress!

And a much-needed antidote to the smugness of the Globes and Oscars.

Thank you. I've been concerned about this for some time. Jade Smith is the only person on the face of the earth I HOPE WILL GET BOTOX.

One of my friends came to see me yesterday. She has two toddlers and a newborn. Boy did she look tired and hassled!

"Maybe you have a girlfriend or spouse."

This is a really old campaign, too. I don't know why Lifehacker just discovered it. When I read the headline, I thought "oh, we're critiquing Dove's tactics again." But no, we're endorsing them.

MARRY ME. Wait, is that...am I making a bad decision?

Sure, the bunny has anger management issues. Is the bunny also invisible, sweetie? You can tell us. It's a safe place.

I can neither confirm nor deny that I sometimes put on a pair of Oxfords and try doing that in front of a full-length mirror.

I know. Calm down.

That dress does squish her chest like a cheap bathing suit.

They're always lacking. Hollywood can't do underpinnings, for some reason. Everyone else can.