Brooklyn 99 is fantastic

I think it’s about promising to buy the cow to get at the milk... Then he sees a prettier cow...

I hope not. Can’t stand her

I knew the girlfriend before me, the one who’s ring I ended up getting.. She kept coming over as a “friend in need” when we were first dating, but then would steal stuff.... Until I called her on it and she slunk away..

My ex did it on Christmas Eve right before we were leaving to visit both sets of parents...I couldn’t say no. We’d never even talked about marriage and I had never thought about it at all..

Weird friends are the best!

I farted on a douche who kept putting his hand on my ass.. It was funny how fast he took it off...My laughing hysterically didn’t help his attitude.. It was a great loud one

Me too! WTH?

Yes, that’s what I’ve heard and practiced

For casual sex, oral is not something I want. Banging is great, but I’m not going down on you until I’ve going to know and like you, and I don’t want you attempting oral either.

And especially don’t keep at it while I’m trying to kick you away

Me too on the sleep thing..but if the guy is stoned I can’t get in tune with him unless I’m stoned too..but then my brain keeps going off on mundane tangents and I forget to get into the sex..

Yeah, I get a little bored and I want to do something totally physical..5 minutes maybe and let’s just bang..I can do that clit stim by myself..I cannot bang myself...

I've been bitching about for forty years.

I was in Florida in January for an art show, and I had just gotten divorced, so was fucking everything in sight. But the best, and biggest, was in Key West. He came by asking us vendors if we wanted pizzas delivered from Clanceys (which was the best pizza ever..anything you wanted on it they would put on it...shrimp…

were you with Jonathon? I picked him up at a Comic-Con as a slave...and boy could he deliver over and over again

in college I used to go see Caligula every year just to watch people walk out in disgust while we laughed and ate popcorn. But I think I wouldn't like this as much as I didn't like Jerry McQuire, which I was drug to in a blind date.

I gave up and just starting wearing a onesie, you know the bra and shirtie all in one, with the big wide straps. So much more comfortable, and I can bend over without stuff falling out. I can garden without flashing the neighborhood. Every other bra just hurt underneath, and in the shoulders, and wouldn't tie them…

some douche I was kinda dating, when he wasn't banging my friends, I found out, let me see his slip after an ATM withdrawal. And there was 120K in his checking account. I guess I was supposed to be impressed and want him....but I asked him why the hell he didn't invest that...

and I'll trust you on that, since I didn't know little necks didn't have little necks like the name implies...socks..I love that! It's hard to find a decent clam in Ohio, most are rubbery...but when I find the socky necks I do 5 pounds by myself...gods I love those!