“For the record, I do NOT recommend using a helicopter as a hair dryer. Trust me on this one.” --Vic Morrow

Our annual family trip to Wildwood (please don’t judge us!) involved obligatory trips to the boardwalk, so these delightful images assaulted my retinas on multiple occasions. I have got to do a better job convincing my wife that staying in Cape May is worth the expense.

Watch it, pal! I’ve got my ion you.

Not even with battery?

I wouldn’t exactly call what Gaffigan did “singing its praises.”

This makes him the Happy Gilmore of kickers, then? All drive, no putt.

I found it amusing to note that Dickson was tapped to do the onside kick because their actual placekicker — 19-year veteran Sebastian Janikowski — is apparently terrible at it.

Was this the fish market featured in Jiro Dreams of Sushi?

“Well you can kiss my knee too, idiot!”

Poppins has come to wage a war against sadness itself

Funniest part of GotG 2, in my humble opinion.

Witch doctor?

“This may be the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it—that we are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

On my best nights, I could afford those plastic vampire teeth!

Yeah, I don’t know where that came from, either.

He’s not going anywhere yet!

Say what you will, but Andy Reid’s coaching tree is still far more successful than Bill Belichick’s.

Nathan Peterman is the last chicken finger in the fridge from a party you threw a week ago.

“Help me, magic divot!”

See: My all-too-brief porn career.