Because nothing gets a 21-year-old, newly-minted millionaire engorged and tingling more than a shopping spree at Lord & Taylor?

Lucky bastard.

Goddamn right you do. :)

+(number)

What are you, kidding? Legoland, dude!

What’s your favorite typo in this Howard Eskin tweet?

7. Chick-fil-A at the Plymouth Meeting Mall. And let me know when you’ll be there, Mr. Fultz, because my son* is dying to meet you!

Gee, I don’t know why they’re already 50 games under .500.

So even if they win a title....

You’re a better man than I am.

Huh, he does have a beautiful mouth!

Q: How do you make a Nazi Cross?

Judging by her t-shirt she’s an Eagles fan, too. Christ. I liked it better when we were known for hucking battery-filled snowballs at Santa Claus or some shit.

For non-Philadelphians: Christine Flowers (and occasionally, Rick Santorum) is the token right-wing opinion* writer posted on Philly.com. When her columns do get national exposure, it’s almost never for a good reason.

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/tennessee-has-sneakily-compiled-the-next-great-sports-drought/

Right now, though — 2008 feels like a million years ago.

God, but when you do....

Philadelphia, 1980-81. Granted, the Phillies did win the WS, but the four major sports teams went 1-3 in championships during that span.

Just ask this Phillies fan, or a Cubs fan, or an anything-from-Cleveland fan: When that lone championship does manage to come along after what seems like an eternity of waiting, it feels so much better. At the very least, it sustains you for the next decade or two of absolute sucking you know you’re in for.

High Witness News?