Technically, God is a theory.

“...Of course, uh, we’re all going to die someday. Just... some of us sooner than others. And now for a word from our sponsor. Duracell batteries: The battery that will outlast... well, you know.”

That’s... actually not a bad idea.

Dear Staff:

“Man, Dale wouldn’t dare pull this shit if Chip was still alive....”

...yet.

I am, and I do.

I need my weekly Chinese food fix, but I’m not going to make my guy risk swerving into a tree to get it. If I do decide to order, I’ll do it tonight after seeing what it’s like outside.

Are you trying to get me killed? :)

In all fairness, my wife chips in a considerable amount, especially with getting snow off of the cars, which is about as pleasant a task as flossing.

I am a life-long resident of the Northeastern U.S. and I would just like to say, as I always say when I pick up a shovel: Fuck you, snow. And fuck you, winter. You are, by far, the shittiest of all seasons, and I will never not look at an adult human who says they love this crappy time of year like they are a…

“Women have no business ordering around men who are twice their size!”

For me, it’s background noise on the drive home from work.

“’And then Mommie said, “Scrub. Scrub, Christina. It’s not. This floor is not clean! Look at it! Jesus Christ! This floor is not clean! None of it... this floor is not clean. Nothing is clean. This whole place is a mess!”’ Well, that’s enough reading for tonight, Cliquot.”

Good luck going there. I’m too old, paranoid and honkeylicious to make the trip.

I said I was sorry.

West Philly is home to two large college campuses within blocks of each other, surrounded by several streets’ worth of young, hip neighborhoods.

Amanda Waller seems to have slimmed down a bit. Good for her!

PleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodohdearGodpleasebegood.