It was $40, smart-ass. I got a scholarship.

Apparently championships won before the Super Bowl are no longer valid.

Some of us actually graduated from college!

Apparently John Tory’s staffer is Chauncey Gardner.

No argument here. My original comment was more facetious than anything else.

Damned shame it took this to do it!

Oh my God, I still say that when I use a poof in the shower. My wife is looking into having me committed.

Reminds me of a National Lampoon “Letter to the Editor” that was filled with nothing but reactions of a white guy watching an NBA dunk contest.

Whoa Nellie, there’s a hot time in the old town tonight!

Boy howdy, you betcha!

“You shut the hell up.” —Jia Tolentino

You want to see a psychopath? Get between me and my first morning cup of (black) coffee.

Tell them Steve S. sent you!

“Got a little bit of head on yourself there, Governor.” —John Connally’s assistant, November 22, 1963

As in, “PAC your shit and hit the road, buddy?”

February 6, 2005. Not even meeting my future wife the night before could stave off my drunken sadness.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

The Cricket-Ali fight is still considered one of the biggest mismatches in boxing history.

This movie and The Transporter tied for first in my “best action movie of 2002” list.

Why did I read that? Why the hell did I read that?!