Lipstick marks from where he kissed the windshield.

The trainee at the rental company responds: [covering phone receiver, to manager] "Mr. Bellevue—is this what you meant when you mentioned red-flags?"

I don't mind... these tattoo helps to know the person is an idiot. Like a warning sign.

Obligatory:

I much prefer my hats to be made out of tinfoil.....