Let me start off by saying that I'm well aware that I'm basically a rookie here.

I had always preferred to face the door. So did my wife. I'm sure a gentleman such as yourself can figure out who eventually won that little battle.

This reminds of the time when I was a kid and my dad promised that the upcoming Christmas would be something we'd never forget. He told us this at Thanksgiving dinner, so I'm sure you can imagine the buildup of anticipation that two young boys were experiencing.

Wonderful day off for me. Relaxed with the dogs. Now I'm mentally preparing myself for what is sure to be a dreadful romcom with the wife.

It showed up. Sometimes it's a bit wonky as far as displaying replies.

To complete the trifecta, she had a trip to the Lions practice facility planned for Monday, but it has been cancelled due to the Kevin Smith Policy.

Skip Bayless also has a Tebow jar, but uses it for a different kind of deposit, knowwhatimean?

Youshouldhavetakentheadviceofyourownname

I suddenly worry that my wife has another family in another state and she goes by the name Mrs. 2313.

I'm not all that familiar with the Lancaster dives as I"m from Reading. But I figure you can't go wrong if there is a hex sign on the restaurant and scrapple on the menu.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the same young Grayson who attended Franklin & Marshall? I only ask because, if so, you've surely experienced an artery clogging PA Dutch breakfast.

A woman whose breath smells of waffles and whose hair smells of thick cut bacon. But that's it.

Out of curiosity, anyone going to the Made In America fest in Philly? I'm wondering what people think of the lineup.

"Mr. Hernandez, this really isn't the time to break out that Larry Flint impression you've been working on!"

All part of "God's" plan.

Which is a 25% increase.

That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.

I thought you had to be joking until I saw other people mention this. I guess I have to give it a shot. Not sure the wife will be ready for such fine dining though.

Know what does great with grape jelly? Pretty much anything that can kill the flavor of grape jelly. Fuck is wrong with you?

But seriously. Christ.