I MADE IT NICE

If I were a Real Housewife, I would want to have fights with the following:

Johnny Depp is a goddamn toddler. Grow the fuck up and get sober you bloaty piece of shit.

This is the only comment on this topic that matters.

If you’re not wearing underwear, how do you keep the penises from falling in?

Like a middle aged drunk auntie who rolls in on christmas eve several airplane cocktails in and comes downstairs after unpacking with no pants on and instantly brings a new vibe to the family christmas show. Totally been there.

First, love and hugs.

Second, I know you said no suggestions... but it may be that if you have an attic, he found a way up in to there. Mine did.

Maine Coon’s LOVE to climb... and will find a way up high, in to crazy places. So against all odds, no matter how strange it might seem, he might still be in your house…

In the comics, Swinton’s character is a stereotypical “wise Asian” character, which many people find offensive. Rewriting that role as a white woman removes that, and creates a role for a woman. And then, they wrote a new Asian role and cast an Asian actor. No Asian actors lost work, a role for a woman was created, a…

I think Cho comes off looking worse in this than Tilda. Though my first thought was why on earth would she seek out the opinion of Margaret Cho in the first place? It seems like just such a bizarre out of nowhere email to send to someone. I mean maybe there is some more backstory here that we aren’t getting, but that…

Being in a relationship with someone who has bipolar and is unmediated can be devastating. It feels impossible to stay and impossible to leave. Never thought I’d feel so much empathy for Kim.

Well, her hair is already dead because she dyes it too much. Seriously Kellyanne just give up and wear a wig at this point.

She should. I love this show and she’s consistently been terrific. I’ve been shocked that she’s been ignored by the Emmy’s the entire time this show has been on. She’s also begun directing episodes as well. Fiona’s the heart of this show, much more than Frank is. Frank has become one-note at this point. Fiona’s been…

They’re still in love!

She touched his side as she walked past!

They’re going to get married!!!!

Things could be okay if we’re using that sentiment. Elle Woods didn’t do the reading for her first day of law school, she got kicked out of the class, found the love of her life, stood up to sexism and sexual harassment, won her first case her first year of law school, and then she was the elected speaker at her law…

Friend to friend, if you put a small piece of toilet paper in the water before a violent poop, it breaks the surface tension of the water and prevents “Poseiden’s Kiss”.

This is very timely.

Anybody else been gassy? I was so gassy at work yesterday that when some guy was being a colossal douche I would pass by him and quietly cropdust him. Seriously I did it at least four times over the course of a day.

nah

Trump only threatens to jail women who seek abortions.

I’m starting to think that maybe we shouldn’t have elected this fella President, you guys.