Well, hey. Trump may have a blank check to destroy this county for everyone who isn’t wealthy, white and male, but we can all take comfort in the fact that Mitch McConnell will push back against congressional term limits. He’s truly the hero we deserve.

I’ve said this before here but Trump was the backlash to the incredible leap forward that was Obama. 2 steps forward, 1 step back, as usual.

Jesus, he really does think he’s rubber and everyone else is glue.

I didn’t say that. The woman’s a liar, extremely unattractive, lots of problems because of her looks.

Oh look! It’s Vincent Adultman, heading off to a long day at the business factory!

No it’s not a TV show, they’re personal friends of Kara Brown.

My kid’s been a hellion for days. Husband put a cardigan on her today and I swear even her hair was calmer. Tiny librarian.

I’m here to boatsplain this.

My favorite picture from their visit.

Fuck the haters. Terror Tot George Forever!!

“It is a slippery slope, Your Honor”. Bam, lawyered.

Does she have... any money left in her checking account? Does she have health insurance? I have mundane questions.

I’m not a medical professional but I do watch Grey’s Anatomy and Dr. Shepherd was very clear that smoking would make re-attached fingers fall right off. So good luck with that, Lindsay.

Eating is weird, but drinking in the shower is normal, right? A travel mug of coffee in the morning, or a nice cold beer in the evening, that’s totally normal and also is great.

It’s not my story, but you all still deserve to let it linger in your heads as it does in mine. My boyfriend was at work when a stomach issue began and so he trotted over to the company restroom to let loose. It was so ferocious, as he told it to me later, that as soon as he pulled down his pants it hit everywhere. It…

I love it actually. I don’t know why. You’d think you’d want people to be able to see your shoes but I love the look of pants that go all the way to the ground with heels. I think it’s because it makes your legs look really long.

He’ll probably have the Trump Foundation cut a check.... to itself.

#WheresPiratePeter?

Once I found a $100 bill on the ground with literally no one in sight. I picked it up and then called a friend to ask if I just keep it. We debated a moment and she asked a co-worker and it was decided I can keep it. I bought a rad Japanese t-shirt I wanted that was $50 something and met her for drinks later. This is…