Maybe criminal defense attorney that represents the mob? In Mr. Casino's eyes, at least, that's clearly a rung below personal injury lawyer.

You can if you're a kick-ass federal prosecutor. And that's 100% beside the point.

The commercial was amazing. But seriously, this dude got all frustrated with the authorities, and he couldn't look his son in the face and say "I represent the bad guys," so he decides to become . . . a personal injury lawyer?!?!? The lowest or second lowest form of despicable attorney? How does that show anybody…

The good news is, you probably only have to wait three more years to try again!

I love McDermott, and that was a great shot, and they're a fun team, but are we really calling 25 feet a "preposterous range"? J.R. Smith regularly takes (and occasionally makes!) shots from 28-30 feet.

I was ready to be all like "yeah, they did this already" or even "how many Her parodies called Him do there have to be" (by my count, there are AT LEAST 3). But the Seth Rogen-ness of the fake Seth Rogen (clearly not Seth Rogen, I'm guessing Paul Gale) really sold this one for me. The laugh, in particular.

For all the Knicks haters playing the usual game of Knicks Mad Libs in the comments, here's this.

1992 Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk was amazing. 2014 Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk is super disappointing. Damn War on Sugar!

The United States: Delaware

And the feeling is mutual, because New Jerseyans (at least us Northern New Jerseyans) hate Pennsylvania way more than New York.

I've had them. This description is 100% accurate.

I think you're off on the cell phone chronology.

Oh please lord let this lead to a trend of selfies with fish.

You're still waiting, though! By that point it would be cool enough to hold! Too hot to hold = too hot to eat.

Clearly LOST has the best title sequence. ZOMMMGGGGGGGGGG!!!

A brilliant pussy with 1st degree burns on the roof of his mouth.

If you guys can't appreciate "Wheels Ontario" then there's really nothing I can do for you.

Of course, we're still giving Ahmad Bradshaw shit for doing the same thing on a Super Bowl-winning touchdown two years later.

What about Piazza? Is that a Marlins hat?!?!