This woman is so badass.

Yes. Mainly because that’s completely and obviously different.

I say this a full blooded Jew, but that is a great name. It’s so great, I almost (almost) want the name to legitimately catch on as a term for something, like getting really wasted (“I drank so much last night, there’s an alcoholocaust in my stomach right now”) or fucking up a drink in some way, like when the…

Next at 11...teens do stupid shit.

I know small batch breweries are all the rage these days but this is taking it a bit too far.

what ever is on clearance in TJMaxx.

“There I was, enjoying a light repast at the Applebuddies club, engaging in a fine and stimulating discussion of Amanda McKittrick Ros’s brilliant use of simile and metaphor, when suddenly what should assault my ears but some jenny foreigner defiling the rarefied air of our great nation with her native tongue! Well I…

You know, more than one person can be at fault in a single situation; it’s not a zero-sum blame game. I don’t condone driving after 7 margaritas, but rofl at everyone rushing to commend someone who didn’t see any problem with bringing a single two-top FOURTEEN margaritas.

Wait, we’re applauding the guy who apparently overserved a couple and then called the cops on them because he didn’t like the tip?

I really don’t want to talk in a place where I’m naked.

omg, “pain tourist”

Can you take a friend with you who can say “Woah, that’s totally inappropriate!”? Because I would be that friend.

Well duh, women lose either way. That’s how it’s always been.

Nope. That honor goes to my dad. He did foot the bill because my mom insisted (and it was really her show, which I was fine and happy with), but other than that, he acted nothing like a father of the bride or even a half-ass guest. He didn’t smile, he acted very put-upon, he didn’t converse with the guests, and he…

Wow. Somehow I actually hate this person more than all the drugged-up Florida trash in the world. At least the Florida trash is trying to have fun when they throw up on your great Aunt. This woman is just a petulant whiner who needs to be the center of the universe.

Your wedding sounds goddamned delightful. I want to start a service where, if you know you have to invite someone awful, you invite me and I glare at them and eat the food and gush about how good it is to you. Like a designated mourner, but for weddings.

there are way worse people.

Or like... “ The tweeting is trashy but come sit next to me” option