Such a display of sportsmanship would never be tolerated in the Jake Champions League.

I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is naked Chris Berman.

Looks like another publicity-seeking "Sarah" is about to have a Bristol issue.

"Meanwhile, DeCastro was shocked to learn his flight to Pittsburgh for his introductory press conference had four layovers."

Only difference between the kid and the old guy next to him is apparently the old guy gets his toys by the hour.

This "alliance" is clearly an effort to provide hockey fans with the authentic experience of being an NHL player... with post-concussion syndrome.

Mickey Mantle got 'faced with 8.9 percent of all MLB hitters ever.

At Wrigley, he would have passed for Tony Campana.

Ned on Ice. High Crutching, bitches!

Getting the dong submissions in early before the holiday weekend, are we?

+1 lineup, er lineup card.

Keep in mind that with the margin of error it could actually be that -5% think they will make the playoffs.

Magic: "You're leaving with the flu? Pussy. Not like it's gonna KILL you or anything!"

At least cancelling the lacrosse match prevented Longwood from being ComparativelyInadequateWood.

Perhaps having an all-team assembly with special guest speaker John Calipari wasn't the greatest idea after all...

What bad could come from a bunch of Germans raising their arms and pointing in the same direction?

Still slightly less child impalement than the Sandusky indictment.

Cry me a rivers.

Mizzou lost? Norfolking way.

Oh, three dead HOR-SES? For a second there I thought we had a Craig James Trifecta.